Our End...Will I Be Able To Resuscitate It?

30th May 2009

A dinner at Pan… a coffee at Old Town…a short walk back to home…and marked the end of our six and a half year of journey.

How do I feel? No word could describe the pain…for it is immense…for the pain stretches out more when deep inside I know that his suffering was greater…far greater than mine…

I couldn’t help but blaming myself, regretting over and over again for my stupidity and worthlessness which resulted in all the torment for both of us; particularly him…for he loves me dearly and unconditionally to get such a merciless retribution.

The only wish I had in mind now is to do my best in patching things up…mend all the broken heart of his by bits and pieces…it might not be as good as what it used to be…but I’m sure if I did nothing to change myself and deliver what I promised, I will have to personally certified our relationship as dead…which is the last thing I want…

Dear God, please give me strength to survive through all these…give me strength to use this 6 months time to slowly win him back to my side..for I love him more than anything else in the world…for I couldn't lose the man who has been my life for all these while...forever and ever...

Put Thyself In Other's Shoes...

Have you ever seen people accidentally wounded themselves when doing some chores?

The moment when you see the scenario, what will be your expression?

What will be the first word escape your mouth? Could it be "Ouch"?

Well, try to imagine yourself having the wound upon you, will it be more intense than watching?

If the answer is YES, read on...if not...CLOSE THIS WEBSITE AS IT IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU!


Having a baby project of sweats and hardship owned by the special two suddenly being hijacked by third party is worse enough; not to mention when the third fella took all the credits as if she or he started the whole baby from stratch and dust...

Life's a pathetic joke when these kinda dramas are on the stage...and what can you do 'bout it? Nothing but laugh it off, shake 'em off...and continue to enslave yourself to every task possible hoping that someday somewhere somehow a significant one will see you; the tiny little potato who sculpts the whole mountain but was constantly granted a molehill...and from there with the slight hope that you'll be bequeathed with an on par recognition for your contribution and sacrifices for being behind the stage all these while...

...without having the vision actualized, all you can do is dream on and continue working as a slave...


Ying, I know and understand all the wisdow you are trying to bestow, but I guess it's just the hardtime like you say I need to endure in order to become the NEXT you. Don't worry, I'm still coping well and will continue doing the same till THE DAY...


All right!!! Enough sulking...time to get up and go heads on...starting a new day with brighter hopes and greater enthusiasm...Believe in thyself and nothing can beat thee!

The Recipe of Success...

Believing is the recipe of success. If you don’t, why bother attempt where you know you are doomed to fail anyway? For you never believe in succeed, why should success come to you?

Remember the aphorism, “If you fail to plan; you plan to fail” …Hereby I pirated the well-known proverb used and redefined it according to my personal belief, “If you fail in believing, you believe in failing.”

Thanks, my dear friend...for enlightening my shallow mind once again...for being there listening to my sulk with no hesitation, and for knocking some senses into this rock-made head belonged to a strong-will girl.

Will It Be My Body Or My Soul Plays The Trick?

Finally surrendered to the exhaustion in my body due to accumulated stress, hectic and the most important factor…the unexpected changes arisen week earlier. Maybe the body finally gets to know the word 'weary'…or maybe it’s a different story altogether.

Will it possibly be the soul and mind trying to shun away the current situation; denying the roadblock in the way, refuting those pebbles found along the long smooth winding road?

My mind started to boycott; thinking of having to work my ass off and even sacrificing weekends doing office work at home yet the pathway doesn’t seem promising…Instead of gearing ahead, I started to retrieve…rebelliously…inaudibly deny the arrangement set upon me…

Sigh…I wonder if this is just a temporary avalanche or a permanent catastrophe so long as I entrapped myself here? I wonder…

Living Up To My Preaches...

I do agree that we should not judge the book by its cover; still it is a fact that in psychological study, 93% of interaction is based on physical appearance and nonverbal cues a.k.a body language. To me, first impression is the point of winning a heart and that is why I always try my very best in ensuring the first impression I send out will win hearts.

I’m now very much into practicing whatever I preach; for the reason that professionalism is where I start and where I will advance forth. It’s really a wonder to me when there are people in my line still couldn’t grasp the essence of it though the highly respected veteran status they have acquired through their years of battling in the corporate world. Sad, huh? Well, that’s life. And what we can do with it will be setting it as an example which we shall never apply into our principle of life; a road not taken...ever.

From there, it’s the real beginning of self-actualization and discovery...

The Burden Unburdened...

Think this is not dedicated to you,
don’t read!

Think this is mushy,
don’t look!

Think you don’t like this,
get lost!

And if you like it,
thanks a lot!

Back home exhausted; spiritually and mentally challenged with unexpected tragedy over my possession. With the mind bewildered with the oncoming compensation and workloads due to the loss and ex cetera; I went home.

When I opened the door to our room, there he is, grinning ever-widely as if nothing had happened, though he received the sad news from me much earlier in the day. Looking at my pathetic face, he tried every methods he ever known of to make the frown fades away; from tickling to gnawing; silly face to childish grin...and eventually carries me on his back and told me he’s going to bear the consequences with me.

When I told him there’s no such need; the following are his words, “You’re my burden...and I’ll carry you as we move on...”. Not the aid and not the promises...but the simple words and sincere gestures...unburdened all the burdens...and made me never regret for loving him till the end...