Walking down the memory lane of childhood...

To my surprise, Hie sent me an oldies song last two days...'当我们小的时候'
and both of us chatted long on the topic then...talked about how the painfully sweet and full of bruises childhood created most of our memories back then...

Being a bunch of small rascals and peculiarly you find us lil' girls instead of boy; we never let our mom have a day of rest...for every now and then she will have to send us to hospital to get some stitches done...either to jaw, ears, finger, knee or toes...

We shared on how unique my mom's parenting style~ we get injured...run to her...get beaten up first...then finally send to hospital...so each and everyone of us 5 siblings here will get the same fate should we get ourselves hurt one way or the other...

We laughed on how Ying used to get herself a double stitching job performed for the same wound on her jaw...for the sake of gluttony over an apple...

We giggled on how the publicly known "Refugee" back then has now becoming ADOS for a world-class renowned HR Hotel...

We chuckled at how we terribly skinned and peeled ourselves yet did not have the nerve to surrender our wound to mom~

Those were the days...days playing around gutters, days of rope-skipping, days of barbie dolls and days of worries-free...blanketed with mom's loud caring voice and showered with toiled lovely hands of hers.

In a blink...we are now all adults; each with own lifestyles and career; some with family of their own as well...how time flies!

I Miss Home...

All these while, homesick has never been a real issue in my life but this time around, I just want to grab my backpack (clothes, innerwear, wallet, hp…and THE MOST IMPORTANT!!! SKINCARE) … errm...I wonder can stuff my BB into my backpack or not??? …and flying straight back home to Mom…hugging her hard and tell her “Mom, I love you”

I’m aghast of being in the state of ail since experienced the past whole month living in the torture of sickness…not to mention some other personal issues which joined hands in assaulting my mind. I thought I’m slowly recovering and happily munching away food which I’ve missed out for the whole month but…today bloody hell symptom arise AGAIN…

After enjoying my not-so-impressive breakfast tapao from cafeteria, I started to feel the dizziness cropping out from nowhere. There was one time I stood up; ready to go for fruit attack in M Floor and just a few steps I geared in, my body staggered. That just confirmed it, yeah…You’re sick again, baby!!! We come to visit you again on April Fool!!!

Seeing everyone happily goo hunting for their lunch makes me envious and jealous. Heading down to M floor; looking at people cheerfully munching away their food made me disgusted at myself…apala..sikit-sikit sakit…taufu arr?

Subsequently, the familiar face of my beloved Mother surfaced and her frequently asked questions streaming into my now giddy mind…She will be asking, “Why are you sick again lo?. Must be didn’t eat proper meal again, right? Tell you already, don’t need to scare to be fat, fat is prosperity. You are skinny already, why on diet again? Got see doctor or not? Got eat medicine or not? Aiyo, you ahh…like “Ling Dai Yu” (a.k.a Ailing Beauty).

Mom…I missed you so much…I’m sick again…

Dear Kiara...

Baby, Mommy missed you much. I dreamt of you again. The nostalgia gushed back into my mind again, counting on how much fun and joy, pain and grief we had together. Remember the blog I tried very hard to write for you after you’re gone? Well, Mommy did it yet never publishes it up to now…for there is never enough room to describe you; for your existence in my life is beyond word.

The guilt still never leave me though; for I never get the chance to see you one last time; to tell you how much you meant to me and to hold you one final time. When Mum told me that you were gone, you couldn’t imagine how I went through my days…barrels of tears and life in avalanche… you will definitely heartbreak to see your beloved owner in despair.

I remembered how you used to be there for me all the time, wagging your tail; devotedly waiting for my return from school.
I remembered how I used to share with you my stories; for you gave me assurance that you never kiss and tell. I longed for the ticklish sensation when you gnawed my ears. I yearned for you to lick my tears away. And now, I ached for you are not here when I needed you most…Mommy love you, my sweet child…

My Mother ... The Feline Of Hearts

A ferocious feline, yet tempestuously doted her cubs…A timorous hen, yet courageously fight against danger for her chicks. A careless cow elephant who never fail to provide haven for her young…Have you ever encounter anyone described as above? If yes, then you have met my Mother.

I remembered how every other folk used to reticently laugh at her; being a mother who bore 5 daughters and bear no son. I remembered how people sneered at her being ignorant to Chinese custom. I remembered how people looked down on her for working in slaughterhouse to earn a living…And I remember how proudly she posed in my graduation picture; being the last child who obtained scroll in our family.

Being deprived from education doesn't impede her from educating us the importance of knowledge. Being deficient in cooking skills doesn't forbid her from feeding us; and being underprivileged doesn’t bar her from providing us with the best that she could afford.
My mom is not highly educated. She is not well-groomed to be a lady. She knows no tradition nor having a sense of fashion. She is just a little woman whom everyone thinks she is; washing clothes, providing food and beating kids. In fact, she doesn’t even know how to cook a storm!

And YES…She is my mother…a mother irreplaceable in the child’s eyes.

Crisis of Wongs...Are We To Overcome It?...Hopefully.

Marriage is supposed to be blissful where you long for all your family members and friends to feel happy for you. Well, it is always what I believe in and look forward to when it's my time of glory. However, my mindset was perturbed when I encountered an obstacle lately. Marriage which has always been a beautifully-painted picture turned into a melancholy melody in the air.

Let me put myself in the shoes of observer and tell the story as a narrator. H is considered the brainy amongst our flock and always been the apple in the parents’ eyes. I would say that due to her peer influence, she grew up rather a western-thinking lady whereby conventional Chinese culture and custom are definitely not in her Bible. Mum has always taught us to be independent and I guess that’s why we seldom share crush stories or relationship issue among siblings all these while… and I guess that’s the culprit of today’s mess. So, when she was completing her degree, she met a boy during her practicum and they feel in love soon.

As I have mentioned earlier, not much communication on these matters are being conveyed between sisters, so we didn’t get the opportunity to meet up with the potential Mr. Right. H as a semi-recluse didn’t take the initiative to bring the guy back home to meet the parents and this has further widened the gap.

Lately, H suddenly announced that she wishes to get married with the guy after 6 years of relationship. She was hoping to get the family’s blessing since she’s pregnant and needed family support right now more than ever. However, the whole family was stunned since neither signal nor information has been conveyed before this regarding to the guy; personality, appearance, background, education, career, family; - nothing at all. The news came as a shock rather than surprise.

When H received a far-from-expected response from the family and due to her sensitive personality, she perceived that the whole family disapproved her marriage and she began to drift away from the family. She felt that the family is not supportive. She felt that she let the mother down. She’s depressed and with the pregnancy around, her mind is deteriorating as well as her inner strength.

As H always confided in Y, the elder sister all these while, she was expecting Y to fully support her decision and kept her profile as privacy. As for Y who is senior than us, she felt her obligation to protect us and update the family at East Malaysia regarding to our current states. So, when things turned sour, H blamed Y for disclosing her privacy to family while Y felt guilty for H’s current state and blamed herself for not giving us proper attention. Both were reluctant to communicate and things get uglier.

When H is making the preparation for her wedding, more issues aroused. Due to her nonchalant attitude, she overlooked the importance of Chinese culture where parents meet-up, dowry arrangement, reception for both parties, custom and regulation matters are vital. These are what make us Chinese and these are the things that bring honour to the family. Yet, she failed to notice the essence behind all this hassles. So, when no arrangement for reception made for bride’s side, more questions flooded in…why there is no reception? Why there is no meet-up? Why this? Why that? Never-ending whys… All the queries made the family members more worried than ever and same goes to H’s emotion; more agitated and depressed than ever.

Mistakes made by all parties seemed to poll together and created a massive silent war where I seriously don’t know how to resolve. Everyone seems to be unhappy because of miscommunication or I would rather say no communication at all at this moment. All of us are concerned about H but fear to probe as this could irritate her…On the other hand, H felt hurt for no support received from family yet didn’t take the initiative to mend things up. So, what’s next? …

I’m really scared now for not knowing how to end my story here. I truly wish for a happy-ending story for the family of Wong.

~ Family means us, tied by bloodline, inseparable and nobody gets left behind ~