Crisis of Wongs...Are We To Overcome It?...Hopefully.

Marriage is supposed to be blissful where you long for all your family members and friends to feel happy for you. Well, it is always what I believe in and look forward to when it's my time of glory. However, my mindset was perturbed when I encountered an obstacle lately. Marriage which has always been a beautifully-painted picture turned into a melancholy melody in the air.

Let me put myself in the shoes of observer and tell the story as a narrator. H is considered the brainy amongst our flock and always been the apple in the parents’ eyes. I would say that due to her peer influence, she grew up rather a western-thinking lady whereby conventional Chinese culture and custom are definitely not in her Bible. Mum has always taught us to be independent and I guess that’s why we seldom share crush stories or relationship issue among siblings all these while… and I guess that’s the culprit of today’s mess. So, when she was completing her degree, she met a boy during her practicum and they feel in love soon.

As I have mentioned earlier, not much communication on these matters are being conveyed between sisters, so we didn’t get the opportunity to meet up with the potential Mr. Right. H as a semi-recluse didn’t take the initiative to bring the guy back home to meet the parents and this has further widened the gap.

Lately, H suddenly announced that she wishes to get married with the guy after 6 years of relationship. She was hoping to get the family’s blessing since she’s pregnant and needed family support right now more than ever. However, the whole family was stunned since neither signal nor information has been conveyed before this regarding to the guy; personality, appearance, background, education, career, family; - nothing at all. The news came as a shock rather than surprise.

When H received a far-from-expected response from the family and due to her sensitive personality, she perceived that the whole family disapproved her marriage and she began to drift away from the family. She felt that the family is not supportive. She felt that she let the mother down. She’s depressed and with the pregnancy around, her mind is deteriorating as well as her inner strength.

As H always confided in Y, the elder sister all these while, she was expecting Y to fully support her decision and kept her profile as privacy. As for Y who is senior than us, she felt her obligation to protect us and update the family at East Malaysia regarding to our current states. So, when things turned sour, H blamed Y for disclosing her privacy to family while Y felt guilty for H’s current state and blamed herself for not giving us proper attention. Both were reluctant to communicate and things get uglier.

When H is making the preparation for her wedding, more issues aroused. Due to her nonchalant attitude, she overlooked the importance of Chinese culture where parents meet-up, dowry arrangement, reception for both parties, custom and regulation matters are vital. These are what make us Chinese and these are the things that bring honour to the family. Yet, she failed to notice the essence behind all this hassles. So, when no arrangement for reception made for bride’s side, more questions flooded in…why there is no reception? Why there is no meet-up? Why this? Why that? Never-ending whys… All the queries made the family members more worried than ever and same goes to H’s emotion; more agitated and depressed than ever.

Mistakes made by all parties seemed to poll together and created a massive silent war where I seriously don’t know how to resolve. Everyone seems to be unhappy because of miscommunication or I would rather say no communication at all at this moment. All of us are concerned about H but fear to probe as this could irritate her…On the other hand, H felt hurt for no support received from family yet didn’t take the initiative to mend things up. So, what’s next? …

I’m really scared now for not knowing how to end my story here. I truly wish for a happy-ending story for the family of Wong.

~ Family means us, tied by bloodline, inseparable and nobody gets left behind ~