The taste of missing...

It has been one whole week Bb is not by my side...the feeling of loneliness, helplessness and emptiness entrapped me in totality. I miss him very much...

Throughout the week, he has been making his very effort to go online to chat with me just to make sure I'm all right over here and complete his checklist of the day (whether I have had my meal, taken bath, mmm mmm and etc) before hushing me to sleep...Though I really miss his voice, his touch and his kiss; the fact that he never once send me off to sleep discontented makes me feel so much loved.

I love you, Baby Fremon...Come back to me soon, okay? :)

Our End...Will I Be Able To Resuscitate It?

30th May 2009

A dinner at Pan… a coffee at Old Town…a short walk back to home…and marked the end of our six and a half year of journey.

How do I feel? No word could describe the pain…for it is immense…for the pain stretches out more when deep inside I know that his suffering was greater…far greater than mine…

I couldn’t help but blaming myself, regretting over and over again for my stupidity and worthlessness which resulted in all the torment for both of us; particularly him…for he loves me dearly and unconditionally to get such a merciless retribution.

The only wish I had in mind now is to do my best in patching things up…mend all the broken heart of his by bits and pieces…it might not be as good as what it used to be…but I’m sure if I did nothing to change myself and deliver what I promised, I will have to personally certified our relationship as dead…which is the last thing I want…

Dear God, please give me strength to survive through all these…give me strength to use this 6 months time to slowly win him back to my side..for I love him more than anything else in the world…for I couldn't lose the man who has been my life for all these while...forever and ever...

The Burden Unburdened...

Think this is not dedicated to you,
don’t read!

Think this is mushy,
don’t look!

Think you don’t like this,
get lost!

And if you like it,
thanks a lot!

Back home exhausted; spiritually and mentally challenged with unexpected tragedy over my possession. With the mind bewildered with the oncoming compensation and workloads due to the loss and ex cetera; I went home.

When I opened the door to our room, there he is, grinning ever-widely as if nothing had happened, though he received the sad news from me much earlier in the day. Looking at my pathetic face, he tried every methods he ever known of to make the frown fades away; from tickling to gnawing; silly face to childish grin...and eventually carries me on his back and told me he’s going to bear the consequences with me.

When I told him there’s no such need; the following are his words, “You’re my burden...and I’ll carry you as we move on...”. Not the aid and not the promises...but the simple words and sincere gestures...unburdened all the burdens...and made me never regret for loving him till the end...

Zephyr of Love Drapes Around My Heart…

6 years ago, he stole my heart...and 6 years later, he did it again. He who is always lukewarm in romanticism finally strikes again…and each time he acts simply steals my breath away.

A simple card, my favourite roses, a token of love & sprinkles of surprise…that’s all it takes to melt my little heart…for he knows what frowns my brows and curves my lips…for I know what he did is truly from his heart.

For him to write me a poem is a rocket-science project…yet what he did touches me to the core of my heart.

Simple wording simple rhythm, simple language from a simple heart; with a simple meaning and a simple gesture…that’s how he simply steals my heart again.

I love you, Kwong Fu...

Couldn't Help But Feeling Helpless...

Sometimes, it feels helpless when having an arguement, especially when with someone who you dear. It feels like you have wasted so much time being together yet each other can't grasp the inner feeling of one another. It makes you feel useless, heartbreak, sore and pain. You feel bottled up when you didn't voice out your unhappiness yet when you release, it ignites a bickering and leads to further bitterness.

Sometimes, you feel like you're the most contented woman in the world where everything has been planned ahead but then, there are times when you felt unimportant when other matters are always preceeding your place in the heart - career, hobbies, lifestyle and lots more.

So, what's left to be done? What's left to be cherished when you feel that it's useless to continue the journey which leads to an ambigious destination...What's left?

Today Is Our 6th Anniversary ...

A blasé glance at the calendar just now brought me an idyllic surprise. I have that figured out days ago but carelessly forgotten about it these few days. Today is my 6th Anniversary with my beloved little one, KF and I couldn’t help but unconsciously smiling to myself.

How time flies…The memories of our old days started to flood into my minds and I delicately savor every single moment with a grateful heart. It has been 6 long years melted in a profound beauty of fun-bickers, beams-frown, love-hate, fun and tears sensations.

Ups and downs, dispute and consensus- we’ve undergone as one…

Fortune and disaster, pleasures and blisters…we held each other tight

When one’s maimed with sorrow, the other cleanse the wound

Burdened with despair, the other share the load

When succumbed to failure, the other buoy up

This is how things had been and I pray to God that this is how things will be for the journey ahead.

I’ll always love you, little one!

My Christmas Journal ...

Merry Christmas!!! Well, time really flies and we're about to be one year older in a few days. Hmmh...Nothing particular for this Christmas...Neither we plan for any vacation nor a Christmas countdown party. Just simply enjoy a few days off, hand-in-hand and walk side-by-side in a shopping mall, catching up movies and challenging new foodie :) The best part is~we're enjoying every single moment of it!!!

Snugging till late afternoon where no alarm clock is activated throughout these few days, catching up late night movies, volunteering your legs to Garra Rufa fishes, challenging tummies with Carl's Jr multi-level gigantic burgers...bla bla and bla.

While the relaxing days are numbered, let's just hope that the following days will be much more anticipated!!!